Category: Homemaking

When you walk into a grocery store, do you forge ahead with purpose, knowing exactly what you need and where to find it? Or do you feel uncertain and bewildered, like you missed the lesson on how to grocery shop?

It can be fun to choose from among all the different brands and products, but it’s not fun to open your fridge or pantry a few days later and wish you had planned your shopping trip a little better.

Even if the mere idea of grocery shopping gives you a sinking feeling, don’t despair! You can learn how to grocery shop like a pro in no time with these handy tips.

Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you click the links and make a qualified purchase, I may receive a small commission, at no extra cost to you.

How to Grocery Shop: Make A Plan Before You Go

The first secret in learning how to grocery shop is to start with a good plan. This will prevent you from starting out overwhelmed, and give you a concrete purpose when you enter the store.

Your plan should include three basic components: making a list of items you need, deciding where to shop, and planning the best time to shop.

How to Make a Shopping List

A shopping list is your number one defense mechanism against the efforts of the grocery store to part you from your money.

Even if you’re not much of a list person, this is one list that you will find very valuable. (Unless you like running back to the store every other day for something you forgot.)

So how do you make a shopping list?

Templates vs. free form

One option is to start with a template. These list basic categories of food (dairy, meat/ protein, produce) or even specific foods (milk, eggs, bread, apples). All you have to do is check off which items you need, and head to the store.

The purpose of these templates is to help you remember what you’re out of. They can be helpful if you often find yourself staring into a mostly-empty refrigerator wondering what’s supposed to be inside.

The drawbacks of using templates are that they are limited to basic foods and ingredients. Most templates will have extra spaces for you to write in items that aren’t on the list, but if you tend to eat a lot of different kinds of foods, such lists won’t be very helpful.

Trying to find a template that lists the foods YOU consider basics might prove a challenge, especially if you’re on a special diet (although I did find a very thorough vegan grocery list, if you’re into that). It’s so thorough that I wouldn’t want to bring such a long list to the store with me!

The other option is to make your own grocery list with a regular old pen and paper. I prefer this option because templates make me feel constrained in my food choices.

Prepare your shopping list

Whichever format you choose for your grocery list, the first step is to look through your pantry and refrigerator to see what you have and what you’re out of.

Wait, you say: how do I know what I need? Good question. Either you eat exactly the same foods every week, or you make a meal plan. Even a basic meal plan will give you some idea of the ingredients you’ll need for the week.

Can you go grocery shopping without a meal plan and grocery list? Yes, but it’s easier to end up with foods that don’t go together or too much lettuce that you end up throwing out when it rots.

Now that you know what foods you need, it’s time to organize your list.

Organize your list by department or aisle

Think about which side of the store you normally start at, and work your way to the other side mentally. Then write down items in the order that you will pass them.

This makes it easier to remember everything when you’re in the store. For example, I usually start in the dairy department, and end with produce (so it doesn’t get squished!).

If you’re new at this, you may need to write down all the items you need first, and then organize the list on a separate sheet of paper. That’s okay! You’ll get used to it quickly.

(One problem I still encounter occasionally is that I tend to write my list with one particular store in mind. Then if I decide to shop at a different store that week… oops! My list is out of order.)

Pick a Place to Shop

You might live in a one-horse town where there’s only one grocery store. But chances are, you live within driving distance of several different chain grocery stores, as well as other types of specialty stores or markets. If you do, then you need to make some decisions about where to shop.

Some people like to buy as much as they can from their local farmer’s market, and fill in the other items at a natural foods store. Others prefer larger chain supermarkets because they can find everything from apples to toothpaste in one place. Let’s look at the different places you can buy food and compare.

Supermarkets

These are usually chain stores. Their departments include not only food, but also toiletries, paper products, and more. (Sometimes much more, as in the case of mega-stores like Wal-Mart.)

Stores in this category include: Kroger, Safeway, Food Lion, Fred Meyer, Giant Eagle, Weis Market, Wal-Mart, and many more.

Benefits of shopping at supermarkets: it’s a one-stop shop. If you don’t like running all over town, you can find just about everything you need here.

Also, these stores usually post sales fliers online and in local newspapers, and many have loyalty programs which reward customers with gas discounts or rebates.

Drawbacks of supermarkets: the selection varies widely by store. Prices can be higher than bulk/wholesale stores. So many options in one place can be overwhelming- and can make you spend more than you planned.

Wholesale Stores

I’ve heard of people driving hours to shop at Sam’s Club or Costco. These stores sell their products in bulk for (theoretically) lower prices. Bulk packages can be anything from two gallons of milk to five gallons of pickles. (I’ve never bought those, but they are tempting!)

Benefits of wholesale stores: buying in bulk is handy when you’re shopping for a large family or a business, or if you like to keep pantry staples or paper products on hand. Bulk pricing is often lower- especially when these stores run sales. I’ve never seen a better price on maple syrup (in Alaska) than the sale price at Costco.

Drawbacks: these stores are members-only, and memberships have an annual fee. Where I live, the membership fee ranges from $60-$120 per year. You can always split a membership with a friend or family member, if you shop together.

Another thing to keep in mind is that bulk prices are not always lower than supermarket prices. Spotting deals just takes practice as you become more familiar with the cost of foods you commonly buy.

A good way to learn is by tagging along with an experienced shopper who knows what to look for. But sometimes you just have to decide for yourself whether it’s worth it to save 15 cents per pound on bananas when you have to buy two bunches at once.

Natural Foods Stores

These stores offer organic and natural selections, and often include local products when possible. There are a few larger chains like Trader Joe’s and Whole Foods, but many of these are locally-owned shops or co-ops.

Benefits of natural food stores: produce is fresher than supermarkets and often locally sourced. if it’s not local, they often list the origin. These stores tend to have bulk bins of spices, herbs, and other dry goods. These can be priced lower than similar non-organic items in supermarkets, because you’re not paying for packaging.

Drawbacks: you’re going to find higher prices here, although they often have good sales. The selection is also much more limited than a supermarket.

Discount Stores

These locally-owned “dent-n-bent” stores sell items that the supermarkets won’t. Either the packaging is damaged, or the “sell by”/ “best by” date is passed, or the item is seasonal or holiday-themed (and the holiday is over).

Note: Not all expired food is inedible. There is a difference between the terms “best by,” “sell by,” and “use by.”

• “Best by” refers to a time period during which the product will taste the freshest. After this date, it may lose flavor or texture, but is not unsafe to eat.

• “Sell by” refers to the time window the supermarket has to sell an item. They don’t want to sell food that’s on the verge of expiring, or their customers are likely to complain. This date ensures that products on their shelves are well within the window of proper flavor, texture, and edibility.

• “Use by” refers to the length of time perishable foods are safe to eat. You will often see this marked on packages of meat, for example. This is the only term out of the three that refers to actual food safety.

Benefits of discount stores: as their name suggests, the items here are discounted. The savings can be pretty big sometimes.

Drawbacks: expired food can make you sick. Likewise, packages that are punctured or ripped expose the contents to air and, potentially, bacteria. Examine packages carefully and do your research on expiration dates for particular foods before consuming expired items.

One other drawback I’d like to mention is the selection of products. They tend to be packaged items like cereal, cookies, and condiments. Yes, they may be great deals, but if you don’t normally buy these items at your regular grocery store, think twice about buying them here.

Choosing a Store

These are the basic categories of grocery stores. You might have other options, depending on where you live: farmer’s markets, ethnic stores/ markets, seafood markets or butcher shops, and bakeries.

Look at the items on your shopping list and determine which type of store would best fit your needs. Or, you can decide first which store or stores you’ll be shopping at, and make your list accordingly. When you’re learning how to grocery shop, it can be helpful to try out different stores and see which ones suit you best.

You can do this for particular stores, even if they’re in the same category. For example, I shop at two different supermarkets. One has better prices on baking ingredients, while I can usually find better prices on eggs and yogurt at the other. I alternate stores depending on my grocery list.

The Best Time to Shop

What’s the best time to grocery shop? Well, that depends a little on your schedule and proximity to the store.

When you’re just learning how to grocery shop, it might take some time to decide which time and day is best for you. But here are a few pointers to picking a good time.

• What’s the worst time to go grocery shopping? When you’re hungry. I’ve made this fatal mistake several times, and always end up with unnecessary purchases. The state of your stomach is the first thing to consider when picking a time to shop.

• Next, consider your schedule and the outside temperature. If it’s very hot or cold, plan your trip so that you can head home immediately after shopping.
  • Foods that must be kept cold should be refrigerated within two hours, or less if it’s very hot outside. If you’re buying frozen foods in the summer, consider bringing a cooler or cold bag to transport them.
  • In the winter, very cold temperatures can damage delicate fruits and vegetables, and cause texture changes in some dairy products.

• Another thing to think about is high traffic times in the store. There are always more people shopping on the weekends, and late afternoon/ evening is a busier time than morning. If a crowded store makes you more likely to forget things, try to shop at a time when the store isn’t as busy.

• One last point is that items are typically marked down in the morning. If you want to find deals on meat and dairy products, shopping earlier is better.

How to Grocery Shop: At the Store

Now you have a plan of action, and you’re ready to tackle the grocery store. Great! Here are some tips to help you find the best deals for the items on your list.

How to Navigate a Grocery Store

There are a few things you should know about the layout of grocery stores if you’re trying to be a savvy shopper. Grocery stores are set up to help you buy as much as possible each time you walk through their smoothly-sliding doors. Their goal is not to help you stick to your list or budget.

• Basic essentials like milk, eggs, and produce are located as far apart as possible. This is not to help you get your steps in for the day; it’s so that you have to pass by all the other products (and preferably buy some!) on your way to the next item on your list.
• Products that kids love are placed at the eye level of a kid, so that they are more likely to see their favorite treat and ask for it. You may already know this one, but there’s more: the most expensive items are usually placed at the eye level of adults, so that your eye will naturally be drawn to it.
• Special displays of products are not always on sale. Just because there’s a bright group of snack foods at the end of an aisle with a price posted in front, that price might not reflect any savings!
• Products placed near the checkout lanes are put there on purpose to tempt you. That’s why you will find candy bars and magazines here instead of paper towels.

How to Choose Ripe Produce

Do you find yourself at a loss when it comes to picking fruits and vegetables? Do you end up with rock-hard peaches and mushy avocados? This can be very frustrating if you’ve never learned how to grocery shop. Here’s how to tell the ripe from the rotten.

• Look: fruits and vegetables should be the appropriate color, with no brown spots or wilted edges. This is the most important rule when choosing vegetables. You can buy bananas that are still a little green if you aren’t planning to eat them right away. Tomatoes should generally be deep red, unless you’re buying heirloom or golden varieties.
• Smell: fruits should smell slightly sweet, due to the starches converting to sugars during the ripening process. If a peach, orange, or cantaloupe doesn’t give off a sweet scent, it’s not ripe yet. However, a strong fruity scent can mean the fruit is overripe. Some fruits with thick rinds don’t give off any scent, so don’t bother sniffing your watermelon.
• Touch: sometimes picking up a vegetable or fruit can tell you a lot. Leafy greens and celery should be crisp, not soft. Berries should be soft but not mushy. Pit or stone fruits shouldn’t be rock hard; they should be mostly firm, but give just a little when squeezed lightly. The weight of the fruit is also a good indicator of ripeness, particularly for melons: the heavier it feels, the juicier it will be. Pineapples are challenging, but the best method I know is to tug gently at the spiky leaves on top. If you can pull one off near the fruit, it’s ripe.

A Word on Brands

What’s the difference between generic store brands and name brands? Not as much as you might think. Often, the products are manufactured or distributed by the same companies.

The major difference is in the labels. Name brands pay for advertising costs, which can be hefty. That cost is passed on to the consumer through higher product prices.

However, not all generic brands are equal to name brands. Everyone has his or her own taste and priorities, and that’s pretty much what it comes down to. You might prefer a certain brand of fruit juice, while I’m pickier when it comes to tea.

Here’s an interesting list from Food Network that describes which brand name foods are usually indistinguishable from the generic varieties.

Compare Unit Prices

Have you ever looked at a wall of pasta sauce and wondered which of the twenty varieties was the best deal? The answer lies in unit prices.

What are unit prices? It’s the price per pound, ounce, liter, or whatever unit of measurement is used for each item. The unit for eggs is either 1 egg or 1 dozen eggs. Pasta is measured in ounces.

The unit price is usually listed on the price tag, in smaller numbers in a corner. Comparing the unit price allows you to compare prices across products of different sizes. A 15-oz. can of tomatoes might cost $0.90, while a 28-oz. can costs $1.99. Which is the better deal? The unit price will tell you.

If you see two different units, such as ounces and pounds, on different brands, then calculating becomes a bit more complicated. You might want to bring a calculator with you if you’re serious about finding the best deal.

Tip: If one brand of an item is measured in ounces and another is measured in pounds, it’s almost always true that the one measured in larger units (pounds) is a better deal.

Coupons

There is a group of people who practice couponing almost religiously. If you do it right, you can save a lot of money; but there are other costs.

It takes a lot of time to learn the tricks, find and print coupons, and shop at the right times. If that’s what you want to do, there are plenty of books and websites dedicated to couponing.

I’m not going into that kind of couponing. I just want to give you a basic overview of coupons as you’re learning how to grocery shop, so you understand how the system works.

Types of Coupons

There are two basic categories of coupons: store coupons and manufacturer coupons. Store coupons are printed by a specific store, and may only be used in that store. Manufacturer coupons are printed by the manufacturer, and may be used wherever their products are sold.

Coupons are designed to get you into the store, and convince you to buy a specific product/brand. This helps the store, because people tend to buy more than one item when they shop.

It also helps the manufacturer, because people tend to buy more of items when they’re on sale. The manufacturer is also hoping that you’ll fall in love with their brand and decide to purchase it even when it’s not on sale.

How to grocery shop with coupons

That being said, coupons can be a great way to save on groceries. Glancing at a weekly sale flyer while you make your grocery list lets you plan your menu around sales.

Make coupons fit your plan and budget, not the other way around. Don’t buy something just because you have a coupon. If you wouldn’t normally buy that product, the coupon won’t save you money. You’ll still be spending money on something you don’t need.

Also, check the coupon price against the store brand. Generic brands might still be cheaper than 50 cents off a name brand.

Make sure you check the expiration date on coupons before you shop, or you might end up purchasing a more expensive item than you otherwise would have!

If you have a hard time remembering your coupons at the cash register, you might find the ibotta coupon app helpful. They offer rebates and cash back on purchases at over 400 retailers for groceries, housewares, toiletries, clothing, pet supplies, and more!

With this app, you don’t have to remember any coupons. You can even link your loyalty account to the app to save even more!

Where to go next

Now you’re all set to take on the grocery store like a pro! You’ve learned how to grocery shop by making a list, choosing a store, and planning an ideal time to shop.

You know common pitfalls to avoid and tips to help you score some deals. The only thing left is to practice. So get out there and show off your new shopping skills!

If you enjoyed this article and would like even more tips on how to grocery shop, check out Ultra Power Saving Mode for your Grocery Budget. It’s a big list of 21 ways to stretch your grocery money farther than you thought you could!

What skills does a homemaker need to learn? If you’re just starting out as a new homemaker, you might well be wondering about homemaking basics. Maybe you’re picturing Ma Ingalls or a ’50s housewife as the ideal homemaker, but those images don’t fit very well with your current lifestyle.

Do you imagine yourself in an apron and pumps, coolly and efficiently cooking elegant dinners and delectable desserts every day? Sewing and knitting clothes for your family? Growing a huge garden and canning fresh produce to enjoy all year?

Talk about overwhelming! That sounds like a lot to learn, even if you already know how to do some of those things.

Don’t get discouraged by this image. You don’t need to know how to do all this to be a homemaker- even an accomplished homemaker.

Of course the specific skills you’ll need will vary a bit depending on your lifestyle, but let’s take a look at the skills which make up the homemaking basics. I’ve grouped specific skills together under the three general responsibilities of a homemaker.

Disclosure: this post contains some affiliate links. If you click on the links and make a qualified purchase, I may receive a small commission. This does not affect your purchase price.

Feed your Family

This is the first and most important part of a homemaker’s job. Why? Simple: you and your family need to eat every day; and as the homemaker, you are responsible for making that happen.

The size of your family doesn’t really make a difference when it comes down to the skills you need. Whether you have two mouths to feed or ten, the basic processes are the same.

Skills you will need to accomplish this task include meal planning, grocery shopping, and cooking. These are the homemaking basics you need to feed your family.

Additional skills you may want to learn are freezer or batch cooking, baking, bread making, home dairy, and traditional or gourmet cooking methods. Then there’s the entire realm of growing your own food and preserving it. You can probably think of even more skills that I haven’t listed.

These are great was to expand your skill set and get creative once you’ve mastered the basics, but they aren’t necessary at the beginning. If you’re just starting out, there’s no need to tackle these in addition to basic meal planning and cooking.

Meal Planning

There are many different methods of meal planning. You can plan a week or a month at a time. You can use cookbooks, online recipe sites, or meal planning services. There are apps and printable menus to organize your planning. It can get overwhelming, and it’s easy to feel like you’re doing it wrong if you’re not following this or that specific plan.

If you’ve tried one or more methods and they just aren’t working, please don’t think you’re a failure. It takes time to set up any new habit, and meal planning is no exception.

I still have weeks when a meal plan doesn’t ever fully materialize due to life’s unpredictable twists. Your schedule may be so fluid that it’s really difficult to find time for cooking, let alone plan out a week in advance.

I hear you. But it will help to implement some sort of plan for your meals, even if it’s only planning which nights to order takeout because your schedule is so hectic.

If you would like to learn how to start a meal plan, read Easing into Meal Planning. If you’re still skeptical about its benefits, read Why You Should Have A Simple Meal Plan.

Grocery Shopping

Is this really a skill? It sure is! Whether you’re shopping on a tight budget, working with special diets, or just trying to use up your produce before it rots, everyone meets some kind of challenge with grocery shopping.

Maybe you live in the middle of nowhere, and you have to drive an hour or two to get to a decent grocery store. Maybe you have a baby or two in tow, and just pushing a shopping cart seems like a chore.

Or maybe you’ve never really given grocery shopping much thought, and you’re secretly terrified of it. You buy what you like at the store, and then don’t always know what to do with it once you get home. (I’ve definitely done that, especially when pregnant!)

In any of these scenarios, learning the basics of grocery shopping and setting up your own system can be a huge relief, as well as allow you to spend your time wisely.

Cooking

Ah, cooking. This goes on every list of homemaking basics. It’s usually a big concern for any new homemaker, and no wonder! If you’ve recently quit the working world, you may have been living on takeout or mac’n’cheese for months or years.

Frozen meals and prepared selections from the grocery store are convenient, but expensive. If you’ve embraced homemaking as your current career, then cooking will very likely be a part of your job.

Cooking is a broad category, so don’t start out by trying to learn everything all at once. Tackling a complicated meal when you’re inexperienced is a sure way to frustrate yourself. Start with what you already know how to do, and build slowly from there.

For example, if you can scramble eggs in a skillet, then try a similar skill like stir-frying. The ingredients are different, but the technique is similar. This allows you to build new skills from basics you already know.

It’s tempting to look at a recipe and say, “That looks tasty. I want to make it!” And while there’s nothing wrong with this approach, it’s a very scattered way to learn how to cook. You might find yourself in over your head- even if you don’t consider yourself a novice cook anymore.

A better way to learn to cook is to focus on mastering specific skills. What do I mean by that? Well, if you want to learn to cook meat, then different skills to learn would be roasting, pan frying, searing, grilling, stewing, and so on.

Where to Start

So which skills do you start with, and how do you actually learn them? As far as which skills to learn first, everyone has his own opinion. I like this list, which is tailored to young adults.

If you’re looking for help with certain skills, good news: there are a lot of resources out there. From full-blown cooking classes to quick video tutorials, you can find so much information online.

If you prefer to read instructions and look at pictures instead of video, then how-to cookbooks might be more your cup of tea. Many cookbooks have cooking guides included with the recipes.

One of my favorites is the Land O’ Lakes Treasury of Country Recipes. At the end of each recipe section, there is a detailed photo guide on how to prepare and cook the ingredients in that chapter.

I find it helpful because it gives you the skills along with different recipe suggestions, whereas a cooking class teaches skills as part of a specific recipe (which you don’t get to choose).

Here are more of my favorite cookbooks, from beginner to advanced.

Clothe your Family

Before you protest, I am not talking about hand sewing, knitting, crocheting, or weaving here. Those are great skills, and they can be quite useful, but for most modern homemakers they are not necessary.

What goes into clothing your family in this day and age? Buying clothes (or making them, if you wish), washing clothes, ironing, and mending are all basic skills a homemaker should learn. The others are extra: great if you want to learn them, but definitely beyond homemaking basics.

Buying Clothes

Just like grocery shopping, buying clothes is a skill. Finding quality garments is hard enough these days. Finding them at a reasonable price takes great skill and patience.

If you don’t have any kids, then that might sound foreign to you. It did to me, but I have come to appreciate quality clothing more since getting married and starting a family.

When I first became a homemaker, I didn’t see how buying clothes could be a skill. Keeping myself from buying clothes I didn’t need seemed to be more important. I’ve learned a few lessons along the way, and I’m slowly changing my approach to buying clothes for myself and my family.

Laundry

Doing the laundry correctly is a very important skill to learn. If you toss everything into the washing machine and dryer in a jumble, you’ll quickly find yourself with faded or discolored garments, permanent stains, or even damaged or shrunken items.

A good place to start is by reading the tags on each piece of clothing before you wash it. Believe it or not, every garment tells you how to wash it right on the tag! Then you can sort your laundry by cycle type, water temperature, and/or color.

For example, you might make one pile of garments to be washed on a delicate cycle. Another pile might be work clothes to be washed in cold water on a heavy duty cycle.

Besides learning how to properly wash garments, you also have to keep up with it! I know I’ve been guilty of putting off doing the laundry until the last possible day, and then it becomes a big job.

Of course, if you’re only doing the laundry for one or two people, it may not be such a big job. Laundry becomes more time-consuming when you’re doing it for several people.

So if you’re just starting out in marriage and homemaking, relax! You have some time to learn how to do laundry correctly before it starts to take up a lot of time.

Ironing

Ironing seems to be one of those chores that most people have an extreme aversion to. I think it must be because they don’t really know how. Once you get the hang of it, ironing is really quite simple. (Unless you’re ironing sofa slipcovers–ugh!)

If you don’t have an ironing board, you can usually find them in thrift stores. You might not want to store a bulky ironing board, but it really does make the job easier and more enjoyable.

Just like laundry, the first step is to check the garment tag. If it says, “Cool iron if necessary,” you’ll know not to put the iron on its highest setting. Many irons mark their settings by type of fabric to make things easy for you.

If you’re confused, look in the owner’s manual (or do a quick Google search). When in doubt, it’s always better to start on a lower setting to avoid scorching your clothing.

One other quick note about ironing: if your tap water has a high mineral content, you may want to buy bottled purified water to use in your iron. The minerals in hard water can cause buildup in an iron, which can leave residue on your clothes and ultimately shorten its life.

Mending

Just because you don’t plan on making your own clothes doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have a basic knowledge of sewing.

Life happens, and if you don’t want to throw away your favorite top when the stitching comes loose or a button falls off, knowing how to wield a needle and thread could come in very handy!

I’m not telling you to take a six-week sewing class. By basic mending skills, I really do mean basic. It’s helpful to know how to:

• sew on a button
• mend a tear
• sew on a patch
• hem pants or a skirt

That list of homemaking basics for clothing doesn’t seem overwhelming, does it? You don’t even need a sewing machine for those simple tasks (although it can help).

Keep your House in Order

While the first two responsibilities of a homemaker focused on the family members, the third one focuses on the house itself. Whether you live in a modern apartment or a rustic cabin, a tiny trailer or a huge mansion, you need to take care of your home.

No matter where you live, there are some basic skills you need to know. The size of house only affects the magnitude of these tasks: cleaning, organization, maintenance, and home finances.

If you want to expand beyond these homemaking basics, you can get into the fields of interior decorating, landscaping and decorative gardening. That’s where it gets really fun! But first, start with the basics.

Cleaning

Every house needs to be cleaned, no matter how small or large it is. Some things should be cleaned on a daily or weekly basis, while others don’t get dirty as fast and may be cleaned only once or twice per year.

When you’re learning how to clean, the natural progression is to clean the dirtiest areas first, and gradually move to the less dirty (or less visible) areas.

You can find myriads of checklists and cleaning tutorials online (I recommend Pinterest). The only caution I have is this: don’t think you have to choose a plan and stick to it forever.

I’ve used different cleaning schedules over the last several years. I don’t currently use a specific schedule, and my house still gets cleaned. So if you can’t stick to one person’s tried-and-true method, don’t sweat it. Just do what you can each day.

Organizing

Cleaning is easier if your house is generally organized, and vice versa.

Organizing is grouping together the things you own so that everything in your house has a place. That doesn’t mean everything will always be in its proper place, but it means you don’t have things floating aimlessly around your house (clutter).

When you move into a new place, the first few days feel very chaotic because none of your things seem to have a place in the new space. As you gradually find places for everything, you feel that you are really moving in.

Sometimes that’s where organizing stops. But what if the first place you found for your quilts or your teapots isn’t actually the best place? What if your pots and pans could be organized better so they aren’t always a mess?

The goal of organizing is reducing clutter and messes when everything is put away where it belongs. Sometimes this means completely rethinking how you have organized your belongings; other times it just means reorganizing one specific space or category of things.

This year, I started using the KonMari method of tidying, and so far I’m very satisfied with it. There are plenty of other methods if you don’t fancy a total overhaul like this; just keep the end goal in mind, and you’ll be fine.

Home Maintenance

Home maintenance is taking care of the place you live in, and its larger moving parts.

This applies to the physical structure of your house (if you own it), as well as the care and maintenance of appliances and furnishings.

Sometimes these are big tasks, like painting the interior or exterior of your house. Sometimes basic maintenance is quick and simple, like properly turning off and cleaning a propane heater for the summer.

Taking care of your home and maintaining it properly are essential to keep it in good running order. Do you really want to live in a place where the dishwasher doesn’t work, half the light bulbs are burnt out, and the roof leaks?

You could argue that this doesn’t belong on the list of homemaking basics: that your husband takes care of all of these things. If you’re married, it’s true that you probably won’t have to tackle these tasks alone.

But as a homemaker, you do need to take some responsibility. You’re the one who’s home most of the time, so you will probably be around when things break.

I speak from experience. Rarely do major problems happen when my husband is home to deal with them.

I’m not great at this kind of thing, but I do see how important it is. Even if I have no idea how to fix a water pipe that burst, I can figure out how to turn the water off so that the problem doesn’t get much worse before help arrives.

Home Finances

By home finances, I mean keeping track of household expenses. I know that not every homemaker holds the purse strings; but I think it’s still important to keep on the list of homemaking basics.

Even if you aren’t the one balancing the checkbook, you can still keep receipts and important papers so your spouse will have an easier time doing the math.

Why is it important to keep track of household expenses if you live within your means? Well, because it shows you where your money goes. It shows you how expensive your house is to live in and maintain.

This knowledge is important when you’re making big decisions about buying a new home (or other significantly expensive item), having a baby, or getting a different job.

It also should show you the difference between your necessary expenses and unnecessary purchases. I’m not saying you should necessarily cap your spending, but budgeting can show you areas where you can save if, indeed, you are trying to save money.

Keeping track of home finances doesn’t have to mean budgeting, although that is a useful method. There are others. At one point, I simply kept a spreadsheet to track expenses so that I could tell at a glance how much money I had spent in a given month, and what I spent it on.

Even if you start out by saving the receipts from appliances and other large purchases, that’s something. The ultimate goal is to make the financial landscape of your household clear to both you and your spouse.

Homemaking Basics: Tools in your Toolbox

As a homemaker, your job has many responsibilities. You’ll probably find yourself wearing several different hats, so it’s a good idea to learn the basic skills you’ll need early on.

If you learn at least the rudiments of these skills, you won’t be as frustrated by unexpected problems. They are like tools in a toolbox: you may not need them all right away, but you’ll be glad to have them when a pipe starts leaking.

Where do you go from here? If you enjoyed this article and would like to receive more tips about homemaking basics in your inbox, I invite you to subscribe to my email newsletter!

I send fortnightly newsletters with updates, homemaking tips, and useful resources. Plus, you’ll get access to free printable meal planning sheets, kitchen labels, and recipe cards! I’d love for you to join me in this adventure of homemaking!

“So you’re a homemaker.”

There’s a pause in the conversation; perhaps a polite smile. There seems to be a question hanging in the air.

Does this statement require an explanation? Although it has become an unpopular choice for women in developed nations, it’s hard to believe that other people–women especially–don’t even understand why you would want that lifestyle.

Maybe it does need an explanation in today’s world. Maybe so many girls are growing up without seeing the viability and desirability of homemaking, that they don’t even consider it as an option.

A good answer to the question of why women choose to become homemakers could help clarify life decisions for a lot of women.

What is Homemaking?

Let’s start by defining our terms. Being precise with words is important, so that we know we’re discussing the same ideas. Before we jump into reasons to become a homemaker, we should go over what homemaking means.

Merriam-Webster defines a homemaker as “one who manages a household especially as a spouse and parent.” The Oxford English Dictionary defines homemaking as “the creation and management of a home, especially as a pleasant place in which to live.”

The difference between these two definitions is subtle, but important. If you think of all homemakers as “stay-at-home moms”, as the first definition implies, then the concept of homemaking becomes blurred with parenthood.

However, if you use the second definition, you see homemaking as an occupation in its own right. Children may or may not be a part of the equation.

I prefer this definition because it is more positive, and gives homemaking more dignity.

“What difference does it really make?” you may ask. Well, which one of these sounds more appealing:

• Homemaking is what stay-at-home moms do all day.

• Homemaking is creating and managing an orderly, welcoming home for your family.

This clarifies the difference between the two definitions. The first sentence is passive, vague, and seems to depend on the presence of children. The second sentence is active and contains specific, measurable goals.

The first sentence makes me feel slightly embarrassed. The second sentence makes me want to be a homemaker.

Why do women choose to be homemakers?

What are the different paths that lead women to become homemakers? In developed nations, this isn’t the only option for women, and sometimes isn’t even presented as an option at all.

How then do some women come to choose this path for themselves? Let’s look at a few different examples.

“It’s best for my children.”

Perhaps the most common reason involves children.

(I don’t know for sure if this is true; to my knowledge there haven’t been any studies on why women choose to be homemakers.)

It’s a fairly common story, or at least not yet uncommon: a man and a woman get married. They both have careers, and both plan on continuing in those careers indefinitely.

Then a baby comes along. The new mother gets three to six months of maternity leave. If she wants to continue breastfeeding when she returns to work, she might be allowed to pump in a closet.

The mother gets depressed, anxious, or both due to separation from her baby. She decides it would be better for her child and herself if she stays home to care for her baby full-time.

There are many variations to this story. Some mothers decide during their maternity leave that they can’t bear to be separated from their babies for 40+ hours a week. Others make the decision to stay home after a second or third child is born, and childcare would get too complicated.

“It’s best for our marriage.”

In this scenario, children aren’t in the picture.

A man marries a woman. They both have jobs, and intend to keep them. But at some point, they realize that their work schedule is taking a toll on their relationship.

Maybe they both come home from work tired and drained after a long day. Both want to unwind and relax, so the housework piles up. Tension and stress from work make one or both parties irritable, so their interactions become negative.

Home starts to become a place of chaos instead of sanctuary. If they want to restore their relationship and bring more order to their lives, something must change.

The couple decides that the best option is for one of them to stop working and start managing their home so that it can be a pleasant place for relaxation, instead of a constant mess and a source of contention.

“I’ve always wanted to.”

This little girl’s dream was to be a wife and mother. Whether her own mother was a homemaker or not, she saw it as something desirable from a young age.

Maybe she went to college; maybe not. Maybe she started down a career path; maybe not. There are countless variations to this story. But whichever direction her life was going in the meantime, she had the clear goal of some day becoming a homemaker.

Some day came, and she got married and pursued her dream of creating a cozy, welcoming home for her family.

Some girls don’t become homemakers right after getting married, even if that is their dream. If their husbands don’t value homemaking, they often want their wives to “pull their weight” and provide part of the income, at least until children arrive.

“It just worked out that way.”

Out of all the reasons to become a homemaker, these are the most varied and unusual. These are the women who become homemakers through no fault of their own.

Some unexpected event occurs, and the woman finds herself at home because that’s the best option at the time. It’s usually for a specific purpose that doesn’t have anything to do with homemaking.

Maybe one of her parents or children requires special care for a long period. Maybe she finds herself ill or on bedrest during a difficult pregnancy. Perhaps she is asked to take some other role which doesn’t mesh with her regular work schedule, so she leaves it.

Whatever the reason, she finds herself at home: a homemaker by default.

This is kind of a catch-all category, but the defining characteristic is that the woman ended up as a homemaker because of some other reason, which has nothing to do with homemaking itself.

My own path

I have known women who traveled each of these paths, and some others who don’t quite fit into one specific category.

My own decision involved several different factors. When my husband and I married, we were both working. Our plan was for me to continue working until I had a baby, and then stay home to care for the baby.

Six months later and halfway through a pregnancy, we moved across the country. I didn’t see the point of starting a new job for two or three months and then quitting, so I transitioned to homemaking as soon as we moved.

Many paths, one destination

So now we have four main paths that arrive at homemaking. As we have seen with my own example, there are many variations to these paths: probably as many variations as there are women who travel them.

Looking at the paths, we can see some patterns. The reasons to become a homemaker are many, and they don’t even have to involve homemaking!

Some women choose homemaking specifically, for itself. Others choose it for the benefit to their families. Still others fall into it without really choosing it at all.

Among the women in the last category, some eventually do choose homemaking for itself. Others return to the workforce after their obligatory period as a homemaker is up.

The heart of homemaking

Why do some stay? What is it about homemaking that appeals to women?Let’s go back to the dictionary. “The creation and management of a home” sounds like an exciting challenge to me.

And it is. It’s everything from decorating and arranging furniture, cleaning and organizing, procuring and preparing food, to setting up systems and running an entire household.

Homemaking is all this and more. Especially more. The heart of homemaking is creating a home for your family. It is a continuing work of love and creativity.

That doesn’t mean there aren’t days when your job seems boring or stifling. You’ll have those days. But any job can get boring. The remedy for this boredom is to put your heart back into your work; and that’s where homemaking really shines.

Any job can indirectly benefit your family by providing income that satisfies your physical needs. The work of homemaking directly benefits your family by making your home a pleasant place to live.

If every task you performed at work could directly impact your family, wouldn’t your job seem much more important?

This is what makes homemaking so fulfilling. It’s why some women choose to continue in their roles as homemakers after the immediate necessity has passed. It’s what inspires others to see homemaking as the ultimate career.

Although there are many reasons to become a homemaker, they all eventually lead to this central goal of creating a home for your family. Loving and caring for your family is the ultimate purpose, the heart, of homemaking.

~ Kimberly

If you liked this article, check out The Purpose of Homemaking and The Disappearing Art of Homemaking.

Is marriage what you expected it to be? Has it been a difficult adjustment? Your relationship inevitably goes through some major changes within the first year or so of marriage. If you feel like you’re missing something in your marriage, consider these tips for newlyweds.

Actually, they apply to all marriages, no matter how young or old. But the best time to start putting them into practice is now. Your future self will thank you!

I’m writing from a wife’s perspective, so some of these tips are geared toward women. But you’re welcome to share them with your husband!

1. Forgive right away

Every newlywed hears some version of this old adage. “Don’t let the sun go down on your anger.” “Don’t hold grudges.” “Don’t go to bed angry.” It’s very true, but it’s all too easy to forget these familiar words in the tumultuous first months of marriage.

Marriage is an intimate relationship with another human being. The closer you are to someone, the more likely you are to offend each other- even if you love each other very much.

The way to prevent such offenses from damaging your marriage is to forgive readily.

This doesn’t mean you pretend it doesn’t matter or you weren’t hurt. There would be nothing to forgive in that case. No, forgiveness acknowledges the fault and the hurt, but says, “My love for you is greater than this fault. Let’s move forward and start again in love, instead of dwelling on the past with resentment.”

2. Don’t keep secrets from your spouse

Your marriage partner should be the person who knows you best. Better than your best friend or your mother. Such an intimate relationship deserves a deep level of transparency and honesty.

You aren’t truly revealing yourself to your spouse if you hold some things back. Secrets get in the way of true intimacy between persons. If you want to have a deep relationship built on trust, you simply can’t keep secrets from your spouse.

Secrecy undermines trust in marriage because it blocks off a part of yourself that you won’t share with your spouse. Trust is a fragile thing, and even little secrets about insignificant matters can damage it.

Why? Because humans are imperfect. We’re prone to faults and failures and we know it. If you keep one secret from your spouse, they’re going to wonder what else you’re not telling them. And that is not a good road to travel in marriage.

Take money as an example. Money is one of the most common subjects married couples fight over. Being transparent in money matters goes a long way toward preventing fights and resentment.

(Note: I’m not saying arguments are bad. Resentment, however, is bad for a marriage. This goes along with #2 above.)

3. Forget about equality

Some people walk into marriage thinking they will split all tasks and burdens exactly down the middle. Fair is fair, and both parties should pull equal weight.

That’s not really what marriage is about, though. There is a lot of give and take in the relationship, for sure, but equality isn’t even in the equation.

Why not, you ask? Why should one person get the short end of the stick? This is the modern world, after all. Women no longer have to stay home and mind the house and kids. They can have careers too. And men can learn to do housework. They wouldn’t want to oppress their wives.

Hold on! Take a step back for a minute. You’re asking the wrong questions. Think about what initially attracted you to your spouse. What do you admire about him? Are they qualities or characteristics that you yourself possess in an equal amount?

I doubt it. We can only admire that which we do not possess. Even if you both have a similar characteristic, chances are that you and your spouse express it differently.

That’s a good thing, by the way. If you and your spouse had exactly equal qualifications and characteristics, how boring that would be! Marriage is a dynamic relationship wherein both spouses work together, using their individual talents and abilities in whatever way is best for the marriage as a whole.

Differences between your temperaments and abilities mean you bring something unique and special to the relationship. You can give something to the marriage that your spouse can’t, and vice versa.

So instead of thinking about marriage in terms of equality, try thinking about it as a dynamic relationship where you and your spouse work together by combining your different skills and talents to create something better and stronger than the individual parts.

Need a clearer image? Think of a single flute playing a melody. Now another flute joins the first, both playing the same tune. The sound doesn’t change much, does it?

But what happens if the second flute plays a harmony line instead of the melody? Now you have a duet that is more beautiful than the melody alone.

Marriage is just like this. If both parties were exactly equal, why would the marriage exist? But if each brings his and her unique perspectives and gifts to the marriage, then something truly beautiful can blossom.

4. Communication takes work

We just talked about how you and your spouse have different perspectives. You might be thinking, “Boy, is that right! Sometimes it seems like we’re speaking different languages!”

I hear you. It’s because of our differences that communication isn’t as simple as we think it should be. Sometimes when your spouse just doesn’t seem to understand you, it’s tempting just to give up, say it doesn’t matter, and walk away feeling frustrated.

But it does matter. You have chosen this partner for life, and the ups and downs of life will be a lot easier to bear if you can communicate well.

That’s a lot easier said than done, as I can attest. Communication isn’t just words; it’s looks, gestures, tone of voice, and other nonverbal cues. It’s not a science, that you can study and learn everything there is to know.

Communication between spouses is not based on rules and sets of data. You can’t look up a word or phrase in the Wife/Husband Dictionary to see exactly what your spouse means.

No, communication is different for everyone, and you and your spouse have to figure out what the other is saying. You will have to work at it for years; maybe your entire marriage. Some couples seem to reach a state of perfect communication after 40 or 50 years together. You can hope for that!

But it takes a lot of work, and it’s often frustrating. The easy option is to give up or get angry when you can’t get your message across–or when your spouse says you don’t understand.

Then what happens? You either don’t talk for a while, or end up saying something in anger. Both of those reactions weaken your communication even further.

That attitude doesn’t help either of you, and it makes important discussions more difficult. If your usual reaction to miscommunication is to fall silent or get angry, how will you make decisions together?

The big decisions in life and marriage tend to involve a lot of emotion as it is. They are a whole lot easier to discuss if you can communicate without getting sullen or angry.

5. Don’t take your spouse for granted

Another thing that’s easier said than done. Some people see routine as the enemy of marriage, because it’s easy to get stuck in a rut of habitual daily living and stop caring.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. The solution to this is to enjoy the little everyday moments without taking your spouse for granted.

What does that mean, exactly? It has to do with love and paying attention. Think about a typical day. How many things do you do each day without really thinking about them, as if they were on autopilot? Conversely, what do you really pay attention to? I hope your spouse is one of them.

Routine says, “This happens every day, so it must not be important.” Living with intention says, “This happens every day, so it must be very important.”

Living with intention means not rushing through life, trying to complete as many tasks as possible. It means slowing down enough to pay attention to each person who asks you to do something.

When you begin to live with intention, you begin to see the meaning of tasks you would have considered mindless. You see who you are helping by doing those chores; or who you could be helping.

If you can do small acts every day out of love for your spouse, your family, your coworkers, your neighbors, that is living with intention. Once you begin to do this, you will stop living on autopilot and taking people for granted.

6. Set goals and talk about your dreams together

How do you keep your marriage strong for 20, 30, 40 years? By working together toward the same goals. Communication plays a big role here, but it also helps to have a mutual game plan, a blueprint for life.

You probably talked about goals and dreams when you were dating and engaged. You wanted to make sure that your goals lined up with your future spouse’s goals–and for good reason.

If two people set out together on a journey, but one wants to go to Chicago and the other wants to go to Amsterdam, it doesn’t take a genius to see that they won’t stay together.

When you enter into marriage, you are taking on a lifelong travel partner. It’s a good idea to review your goals and dreams every once in a while, and make sure you’re both on the same track.

Of course you will both have some different dreams and aspirations. That’s healthy, and good for your marriage. But if you don’t have some mutual life goals, then where is your marriage headed?

Some people wake up one day and find that their life goals are completely different. Don’t let that be you. Talk about goals and dreams with your spouse, even if it seems silly. Don’t assume you know what the other person wants. Ask.

7. Grow and learn together

All relationships change over time, because all people change and grow. Strong relationships don’t avoid change; they grow together. This is similar to working toward shared goals, but on a more basic level.

You may already have learned that you grow together through trials and challenges. But there are other ways to grow which are easier and more positive!

Here are some ways you and your spouse can grow and learn together:

• Read a book and discuss it

• Take a class together

• Attend a lecture or retreat together

• Choose a new activity to try together

• Plan a trip and learn about your destination: history, culture, etc.

• Have a baby

8. Take turns supporting each other

Every marriage encounters rough spots, tragedy, and heartache. Not every marriage deals with these effectively. Strong marriages involve a lot of give and take, and this applies to supporting each other emotionally and physically.

It’s easy to see the physical implications. If your spouse is swamped at work, you can pitch in and take care of all the housework for a while. If you are sick or having a difficult pregnancy, your spouse can do extra to help out.

But the emotional component isn’t always as clear. Think about minor crises you’ve encountered in the last month or so. Did one spouse bear all the emotional burden and act as the calming influence? Or did you trade roles in different situations?

I realize this has a lot to do with personality, and no personality is intrinsically “bad.” Someone who reacts negatively in stressful situations might be really good at encouraging his or her spouse when they’re battling negative thoughts.

My husband and I have fairly similar personalities, and we joke about “taking turns being miserable.” While neither of us has ever been clinically depressed, we can both feel down at times. It’s essential for us to keep a balance, with one person remaining level-headed and encouraging the other to snap out of their negativity.

The point is that when you both know your strengths and weaknesses, you can build each other up and make your marriage stronger.

Saying, “Oh, he’s the strong one,” is counterproductive. You both have something to contribute to your marriage partnership. You can both support each other in different ways.

9. Give your best to your spouse

10. Your spouse comes before your kids

This can be especially difficult for women to remember. The mothering instinct is strong, and it’s easy to spend all your time and energy taking care of your offspring, particularly when they’re young. Some mothers even see this as admirable behavior.

It’s not. Yes, your children need lots of love and attention, but so does your spouse. You can’t spend five or ten years ignoring your husband and expect your marriage to stay as strong as it was before you had kids.

You must tend your marriage constantly if you want it to thrive. That means carving out time for date night and having real conversations without interruptions.

Of course it’s hard. You might just have to get by with the bare minimum during certain periods of life, such as right after the birth of a baby, but it should never become a habit.

You’ve probably heard the adage, “The best thing you can do for your kids is to love their mother” (or father). Giving your kids a stable family environment to grow up in is indeed the best gift you can give them.

And modeling a strong and healthy marriage gives them the tools to form their own strong relationships when they’re older. They learn by watching you–and they’re always watching!

Not only that, but your kids probably won’t live with you forever. They grow up and move out. But marriage isn’t a temporary arrangement. Your spouse will be there until death do you part.

So set aside time to devote completely to your spouse. Put it in your schedule if you have to. How often? Marriage counselors say every week. (I’m cringing as I write this, because I’m bad at sticking to it!)

If once-a-week date night seems unattainable, at least set aside one evening per week for your spouse. Shoot for an evening that you’re not both exhausted. As soon as the kids are in bed, turn your phones off and talk to each other.

Make your spouse a priority. Your kids will thank you later.

11. Remember to be grateful

Last of all, say thank you. Learn to appreciate everything your spouse does for you. Don’t compare your own contributions, saying, “Well, he’s done this much, but look at how much I do every day.” Marriage is not a competition.

If you’re focusing on yourself and everything you do for your spouse, your marriage will suffer. An inward focus leads to discontent and possibly resentment. Focusing on your spouse is the way to deepen your relationship and make it last a lifetime.

How exactly can you do this? Think of all the ways your life is better because of your spouse. Think of everything he does on a daily or weekly basis to help, support, and love you.

Maybe he surprises you with flowers once in a while, just because. Maybe he works diligently every day to financially support your family. Perhaps he volunteers to cook or do one of your chores when you’re having a rough day. Or perhaps he puts up with your hobbies and interests when he would rather be doing something else.

However your spouse shows his love to you, be grateful. Say thank you.

There’s always more to learn

Giving advice is the easy part. Putting it into practice is always harder. I am still working on all of these areas in my own marriage. Marriage is a lifelong journey, and you never reach a point where you are done working at your relationship.

I’m not a marriage counselor, nor do I consider myself an expert. I’ve only been married 3 1/2 years, so I still have a lot to learn. However, I’ve seen some wonderful marriages, and I want the best for my own marriage.

One of the books that has shaped my ideas about marriage is By Love Refined: Letters to a Young Bride, by Alice von Hildebrand. She elaborates on many more tips for newlyweds and the marriage relationship in general. I have not consciously used anything from it in this article, but I know that I’ve absorbed some of the ideas and they are reflected in my writing.

Disclosure: the link above is an affiliate link. If you click the link and make a qualified purchase, I may receive a small commission, at no extra cost to you.

These tips for newlyweds have been helpful in our marriage, and I sincerely hope they will be beneficial to you as well!

What next?

After reading these tips for newlyweds, do you still feel like there’s something lacking in your marriage, or you don’t have enough time or energy to put into your relationship.

Maybe your work schedules don’t coincide very well, and you spend all your free time doing chores instead of working on your marriage.

If you want to read more about living intentionally and making relationships a priority, read The Purpose of Homemaking.