The Disappearing Art of Homemaking

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The first time I heard the term “homemaker,” I was fairly young and thought it was a strange concept. A person who makes a house a home? That’s just a mother, right? Why do you need a specific word to describe what they do? In my limited social experience at the time, I thought nearly all mothers stayed home and took care of their families. As I got older, I realized that not all mothers are homemakers, and the importance and significance of homemaking skills started to become clearer to me. I started to appreciate the regularity of our home life as I had more opportunities to compare it to other households—which were often more chaotic.

Still, it wasn’t until I got married and set up a “real” household of my own (as opposed to living alone or with other young women for several years through college and beyond) that I fully appreciated the domestic skill set my mother instilled in her girls.

All of a sudden there were dress shirts to iron, buttons to mend, and meals to cook every single night (somehow my husband doesn’t consider tortilla chips and salsa to be an adequate evening meal)—and I knew how to do it. Sure, it takes a while to get used to any new living arrangement, but I had a much easier time of it than many other women.

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Who Teaches Homemaking?

It seems that fewer and fewer girls are learning these arts of making their homes a pleasant and welcoming place to be. For several generations now, homemaking has been an unpopular pastime—ever since the Emancipation of the Beleaguered Housewife. Even home economics courses, which used to be offered in high schools, aren’t even an option anymore, unless you buy them yourself.

(If you are looking for a good home economics course, I highly recommend Training Our Daughters to be Keepers at Home, by Ann Ward. This is one of the books my mother has used with her girls. It is very thorough, and is designed to be used over a period of several years, beginning around age 10-12. Older girls can certainly benefit from it, but they will likely progress faster. This book covers all the homemaking basics as well as some extras like making candles and greeting cards!)

I understand that the life of a stay-at-home parent doesn’t appeal to everyone, but there are plenty of women—including myself—who are perfectly happy to focus most of their time and energy on home and family.  There are many others who work outside the home, but still desire to make their homes comfortable, welcoming, and well organized.

Homemaking skills help anyone turn their house into a home, regardless of occupation, income level, social status, whatever. You can use them on a farm or homestead, in an apartment complex or condo, or in a cute little house in the suburbs.

Left by the Wayside

I think it’s a shame that these skills have fallen by the wayside in mainstream American society. I wouldn’t discourage anyone from pursuing a professional career—after all, I myself did that—but I think we need to educate the next generation about these skills as well as professional options. 

The problem with schools—and society in general—focusing on preparing women to succeed in the workforce and concurrently discouraging the idea that women can find happiness and fulfillment in raising a family, is that women who decide to start a family are often sadly unprepared for it.

My mother is one who had to learn many of these skills on her own. She enjoyed sewing in high school, but other homemaking skills were not a big part of her education. That’s why she made sure her daughters would be prepared for whichever path their lives would take. 

A Different Path

The focus on work, work, work outside the home really limits women from pursuing other paths in life, which they might find more fulfilling than a traditional 9 to 5 job, however prestigious it may be.

In my own experience, I enjoyed actually helping patients as well as the intellectual challenges of being a healthcare provider.  I did not enjoy trying to work with the healthcare system and huge insurance companies, which often limited my patients’ options as far as which tests or treatments they were “eligible” for.

My current job as a full-time wife and mother is so much more meaningful to me. Not only do my children rely on me constantly to care for them physically and emotionally, but I have the chance to make a huge difference in my family’s life and well-being. Instead of trying to fix the poor health habits of my former patients, I now have the opportunity to prevent illness by helping my family stay healthy.

The same applies to mental health. By keeping our home life organized and running smoothly (most of the time!) I am setting my children up to succeed.  Numerous studies have shown that children from chaotic home environments score poorly in social as well as educational settings, compared to those kids from stable home environments.

A Jumping-off Place

Basic homemaking skills equip you to take on new challenges, and give you confidence to launch out into new waters.  Maybe I’ve never canned tomato sauce, but I have canned salsa, and that gives me the courage to try something new even if I find it intimidating.

These skills are the tools you need to be a home artist. You will be empowered to make your home beautiful and unique, not just a reflection of whatever décor collection is trending at your local department store.

They give you the freedom to be yourself, to delve into family and cultural traditions or come up with new ways of doing things.

Choose Your Priorities

So now that you want to become a home ninja, how do you learn these mysterious secrets of making a house into a home? What are they, exactly? Your list will vary depending on the type of lifestyle you live (milking yaks probably isn’t a useful skill for most of us), but I think this list is a good place to start:

Cooking and baking, Gardening and food preservation, Ironing and mending, Cleaning and organizing, Home management, Family finances and budgeting, and Hospitality. There are many other skills you could add to the list. Pretty much anything related to the functioning of a home could fit.

Excited for the journey

That list may look intimidating, but don’t get discouraged! I didn’t start out as an expert in all of these areas either. But it sure is useful to have a basic general knowledge of these skills. You never know when they will come in handy around the house, or even turn into a profitable business venture.

You can learn these skills and feel confident in your role as a homemaker. My goal is to provide you with the knowledge and skills to run a simple, efficient household with confidence. I think you will be amazed at how your creativity blossoms when you start to learn the basics of these skills.

Additional Resources for Homemaking Skills

I love the blog Like Mother, Like Daughter. They have great resources on a number of the homemaking skills listed above!

Training Our Daughters to be Keepers at Home, by Ann Ward, is a home economics course designed for girls starting around age 10-12. This is a very thorough resource, covering all the homemaking skills we talked about and more!

The Prairie Homestead Cookbook and The Fannie Farmer Cookbook are perfect for beginners because they teach you how to cook with step-by-step instructions. Read this article for more of my favorite cookbooks!

Check out some of my articles on specific homemaking skills: Meal Planning, How to Make Your First Meal Plan, Frugal Grocery Shopping, and Hospitality!

Read more about The Purpose of Homemaking here.