What is it about homemaking that appeals to women? The dictionary gives us a clue. The Oxford English Dictionary defines homemaking as “the creation and management of a home.” Doesn’t that sound like an exciting challenge? It does to me!
I think that sometimes we focus too much on the management aspect, and not enough on the creation aspect. We think about the specific tasks that need to be done, and not about the spirit that permeates our work and gives us satisfaction in our lives.
This is a mistake, because it reduces homemaking to housework only: purely utilitarian toil for the material goal of a well-kept house. While housework is certainly an important part of homemaking, it does not tell the whole story. There is a definite difference between a housekeeper and a homemaker.
Perhaps we can gain a better understanding of homemaking by delving into this comparison, and searching out the meaning and purpose of homemaking.
HOMEMAKING VS. HOUSEKEEPING
What exactly is the difference between these roles? The words themselves give us a clue. Keeping house sounds very concrete and utilitarian. It involves the physical aspect of keeping a structure clean and tidy, and its parts in good running order.
Housekeeping can be clearly measured by physical means and visual inspection: are the mirrors shining? Is there a layer of dust on the bookshelf? Grease splatters in the kitchen?
Homemaking, on the other hand, is less easily measured because it pertains not only to the physical structure and elements of a house, but also the atmosphere it exudes. Indeed, this is the most important part of making a house a home.
Let’s explore this a step further. When you think of the words, “making a house a home,” what images come to mind?
A family gathered together before the fire, talking and laughing? A motherly figure in cap and apron, cheerfully bustling about the kitchen? Lighted candles shining from the windows of a house aglow with warm hospitality? A sense of coziness, unity, love, and belonging?
These images are just a few examples, but they all contain the essence of homeliness. They all touch the heart of homemaking.
An interesting thing to note is that each of the images could be applied to any number of different houses: a rustic cabin can be as homey as a mansion. A sleek apartment can be as homely as a quaint cottage. It’s the spirit within the dwelling that makes it feel like home. And the homemaker’s job is to cultivate that spirit.
Now we are ready to ask the question: what makes a good homemaker?
Is it the one who accomplishes the most housework in a given amount of time?
No; that would describe an efficient housekeeper, whose job is solely concerned with housework.
If the goal of homemaking is merely to complete as much cooking and cleaning as possible every day, only to start over again the next day in an endless cycle of drudgery, then there would really be no difference between homemaking and housekeeping.
But we have seen that there is a real difference between these two roles. Homemaking involves housework, but only insofar as a clean, tidy house contributes to the comfort and wellbeing of the people who live there. A house can be spotless and beautiful, but cold. The housekeeping in such a place is impeccable, but it lacks love. That house is not a home.
So the purpose of homemaking is not a perfectly clean and tidy house. What is it, then?