Author: kimberly

Ah, housekeeping! This is the practical side of homemaking. So often, I write about the beauty of creating a welcoming home and the noble role of homemakers, but this is the less glamorous part of the story. However homely, housekeeping is still a very important part of homemaking!

I’ve been thinking about writing this post for a long time, but kept telling myself I don’t have enough experience. Shouldn’t you be hearing this from a homemaker who’s tried every different system and knows for sure which one is best? Or someone with 20 years of experience?

I’ve only been at this homemaking game for 4 years, and my housekeeping was pretty haphazard before that. However, I have tried several different approaches to housekeeping, and I want to share with you the one that finally worked for me!

First, a note on comparing yourself to others

Homemaking is hard work, but it’s not drudgery. You don’t have to run around from morning till night and never take any time for yourself.

If you don’t have children, your housekeeping will look different than your sister who has three little kids. You might not be as busy as she is; that’s okay!

Don’t compare yourself to someone else in a different situation and think that you’re not a good homemaker because you don’t bake three loaves of bread or two pans of lasagna at once. As long as supper’s on the table and you’re keeping a balance of work, prayer, and leisure, you’ll be all right.

Schedules bring order to your chaos

Following a weekly housekeeping schedule helps to balance my life. Routines are always good for creating structure, and structure is so helpful at home.

(If you’re interested in routines for meal planning, or how to make a meal plan, see these posts!)

If you’re just transitioning into the role of a homemaker, you may feel overwhelmed by everything there is to do. Or you might find your days slipping away somehow, but feel like you’re not accomplishing anything. I know that’s how I felt at first.

If you go from a full-time student or a job outside of the home to being a full-time homemaker, you’re probably used to the structure of your school or workplace.

As a homemaker, you have the privilege of setting up your own structure! This is a great privilege, and a responsibility. Nobody else is telling you how to manage your time, so you have to figure it out on your own. If you’ve never done that, it can be frustrating or even overwhelming.

Take a deep breath. You can do this! It just takes time to experiment and find out what works for you and what doesn’t. Here are the top reasons why I find a weekly schedule so helpful.

1. I don’t like laundry

My main reason for starting a weekly housekeeping schedule in the first place was that I don’t like doing laundry. I’ve heard many people recommend starting a load of laundry first thing every morning.

Now, I’m glad that method works for them, but to me it sounds like: “Let’s make the whole week stressful and frustrating by turning laundry into a never-ending chore that you have to look at every day.”

No, thank you! I want to do all the laundry in one go, and forget about it for the rest of the week! Enter the weekly housekeeping schedule.

It allows me to focus on laundry one day per week, instead of trying to get all the housework done in one or two days–which invariably means I’ll have a pile of laundry waiting around for me to fold it until I finish everything else!

Small side note:

I don’t count washing diapers as part of my regular laundry. For one thing, I usually don’t have time in one day to wash all the laundry plus a load of diapers in our small washing machine! For another, I wash diapers at least twice per week right now (2 kids in diapers at the moment). So I definitely can’t wash diapers once a week and be done with it!

2. Focus… focus!

My weekly housekeeping schedule helps me to focus on one task until it’s finished. I can write a to-do list a mile long, especially on Mondays. But looking at a long list puts me in a state of mild desperation, and makes me feel like I have to get everything done by the end of the day.

If I try to tackle every chore in the same day, I often end up running on to the next without completely finishing the first one! Keep doing that all day, and I end up exhausted with half the work still undone.

That is so discouraging! It almost seems worse than if I hadn’t even tried to do any housework. At least then I wouldn’t be worn out from running around in circles!

When I stick to my schedule, there are no tachycardia-inducing long lists. Each chore takes longer when you only do it once a week, to be sure: if you only bake one day out of the week, you’ll need to make more bread than you would if you bake every other day.

But I find it much easier to stay on task and focus on my one or two housekeeping tasks per day, rather than try to do ten quick little jobs.

3. You don’t need to remember everything anymore

It’s harder to miss tasks when you write them down ahead of time. Before I made a housekeeping schedule, some things didn’t get cleaned until they were dirty enough to make me stop whatever I was doing and go clean them.

I don’t like living in messy spaces, but laziness gets the best of me if I don’t intentionally prevent it from doing so! It’s always easier in the moment to say, “Oh, the bathroom can wait another day. Let’s go take advantage of this sunny afternoon and go for a walk!”

I’m not saying you should never be spontaneous or have fun, but if you do that too often, your house will begin to look unkempt. I would rather go for a walk after my house is cleaned, rather than return to a mess. Most days.

Occasional housekeeping tasks

What about those chores that don’t need to be done every week? Things like cleaning your oven or vacuum cleaner filter are easy to forget because they seem less urgent.

That’s where a housekeeping schedule can really shine. You can set aside one day for rotating through several different chores that are less frequently needed.

That way, you have a plan, it’s written down, and so you don’t have to keep details — such as when you last rotated your mattress — in your head.

Having a plan takes away so much stress of trying to remember everything that needs to be done! I love finding ways to make my life more peaceful, and writing down tasks on a schedule definitely helps!

Objections to a weekly housekeeping schedule

Maybe you don’t want the restrictions of assigning certain chores to each day. Perhaps you like to let your days flow freely, and cook and clean when you’re in the right mood.

I get that. Sometimes I’ll switch my schedule up and clean on Monday instead of Friday because that’s what I feel like tackling.

But for me, living in a constant state of ambiguity is exhausting. I love to be spontaneous and do fun things, but I also appreciate the slow and steady rhythm of life at home.

My husband and I like spontaneous weekend road trips a lot. We can pack food, kids, and camping gear and hit the road in a couple of hours. I learned early on in our marriage that it is not fun to come home after such a trip to a messy house. It’s much better to unload the car and put the kids to bed in a tidy, serene space!

But if I was saving all of my chores for the weekend, I can’t do that. This is where a weekly housekeeping schedule comes in. If I do all of my housework while my husband is at work, then we can relax and enjoy each others’ company when he comes home.

Now, please don’t think I’m a perfect wife who always has the house tidy and supper on the table when her husband walks in the door! I don’t always accomplish what I plan to do, but that is my goal.

It can’t hurt to try something new

I encourage you to try a weekly housekeeping schedule, even if you think it might not be for you. I know that there are lots of different ways to keep house, and this one might not be a great fit for everyone.

If that’s the case, well, you probably learned something about yourself by trying it. The point is to keep trying different things until you find a method that works for your madness!

I would recommend giving yourself at least three weeks to really see if this will work for you, before you quit. The first week you try might be a holiday, or maybe someone gets sick and you get off kilter for a few days. Three weeks should be sufficient to judge whether or not it’s a good fit.

There’s a season for everything

You’ll also probably find that what works well in one season of your life needs some adjustment when you begin a new season.

I first tried a weekly housekeeping schedule after my first child was born and I desperately needed structure in my life! My sleep-deprived brain couldn’t remember what it was supposed to be doing unless it had a visual reminder.

So I made a simple schedule and posted it on the inside of a cupboard door in my kitchen. Fast forward three years and another baby, and my schedule is definitely different.

There will be more changes as children grow, families move into new homes, parents take different jobs, etc. Life is constantly changing: sometimes in big ways, but always in little ones that are barely noticeable.

Having a schedule for housekeeping allows me to think about it less, and focus more on my family. That is the purpose of housekeeping and homemaking after all, isn’t it? To provide a clean, tidy, cheerful home for one’s family?

I would rather spend more time enjoying my family in such clean, tidy home than running around trying to clean and tidy it! Having a schedule keeps me on track so that I never get too far behind and the house starts slipping into too much disarray.

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I hope this inspires you to try out a weekly housekeeping schedule and see if it works for you. I’ll be sharing how to set up your own schedule soon, so check back in a few days!

Happy homemaking!

~Kimberly

I’ve been musing on the subject of hospitality a lot lately. Whether I have guests in my own home, or I am a guest in someone else’s home, it’s interesting to think about the different ways in which each family welcomes others.

In the first part of this series, we discussed the importance of hospitality in affirming the personhood and worth of others. Then we enumerated the different elements of hospitality, both physical and intangible. This time, I would like to focus on the spirit of the host or hostess, and what it really means to welcome someone into your home.

Today is the feast day of St. Martha. She is the patroness of servants and cooks. I think of her as one of the unofficial patronesses of homemakers, too. She who had the care of her household and received the most important Guest into her home on earth is surely looking down from heaven and smiling on our small efforts in our own homes!

Opening our homes and our hearts

The first step in hospitality is inviting someone to your house… or is it? I think the first step is really opening your heart to love others. Love allows us to see clearly, instead of being blinded by our own selfishness or just distracted and immersed in our own affairs.

With clear sight focused on others, we can now see their needs, not just our own. We can see how others are hurting, lonely, tired, or just in need of a smile and a friendly word. The vantage point of love shows us opportunities to practice hospitality and welcome others into our homes and our hearts.

But how exactly do we start practicing hospitality and welcoming people into our homes? Some people seem to be naturally hospitable and friendly, while others have trouble remembering to lift their eyes out of their own little circle of family and friends.

Those of us who are more reserved in general may find it difficult to even speak to a stranger or new acquaintance. Others may shy away from opening their homes, thinking that they don’t have the resources for entertaining guests.

Remember, hospitality doesn’t require a big house. It merely requires a big heart. If we ask for the grace to welcome others in love, we will begin to see that people feel welcome when we make space for them. Physical space, to be sure; but most importantly, space in our hearts.

It doesn’t matter if your furniture is shabby and doesn’t match. It doesn’t matter if someone has to sit on a bed or the floor because there aren’t enough chairs. What matters is offering what you have with love.

Martha and Mary

When we hear the story of Martha and Mary in the Gospels, it might seem like the message is simple: be like Mary, not like Martha. But that’s not really the point of the story. Mary was sitting at Jesus’ feet listening to Him when Martha, “burdened with much serving,” came to fetch her sister to help. The Lord rebuked Martha for getting anxious and distracted by less important things while she was in the presence of the One Who is more important than anything else. “Only one thing is necessary,” He told her.

That sounds like a pretty big “Oops” moment for Martha. But it’s not the end of the story about Martha and Mary. Later, we hear about the family at a time of devastation and loss when Lazarus had just died.

Martha was again serving a house full of people who had come to mourn. This time, when she learned that Jesus was arriving, she left her serving and went to meet Him. She had learned what one thing is necessary, and had come to believe in the words of Jesus. She confessed her belief in Him as the Son of God.

Serving with Martha, Welcoming with Mary

What does Martha’s story mean to us? St. Augustine says, “Our Lord’s words teach us that though we labor among the many distractions of the world, we should have but one goal.”

It is not wrong to live in the world, have a family, and serve others. Everyone is not obliged to become priests or nuns, dedicating every aspect of their lives to God. But each of us should be able to say: “Only one thing is necessary.”

We should not be so distracted and anxious about worldly affairs that we forget about God. Rather, the right worship of God should be the focus of our lives, and all else should spring from it.

True hospitality has its roots in love of God and love of neighbor. When we are in a right relationship with God–the state of grace–we treat everyone we meet with the same reverence and respect we would show to our Lord.

Dorothy Day has some convicting thoughts on our response to others:

If everyone were holy and handsome, it would be easy to see Christ in everyone. But it was not Christ’s way for himself. Ask honestly what you would do if a beggar asked at your house for food.

Would you give it on an old cracked plate, thinking that was good enough? Do you think that Martha and Mary thought that the old and chipped dish was good enough for their guest?

It is not a duty to help Christ — it is a privilege.

Dorothy Day

The gift of presence

If you were to treat everyone you meet as if he was Christ, what would that look like? After offering what you have unstintingly, I think the next most important element is being fully present with the other person.

These days, it seems like people are going in different directions constantly, always rushing from one thing to the next, and multitasking like it’s a virtue. (It’s not.)

When was the last time you slowed down enough to have a deep conversation with someone? One where you looked straight at the other person, and really listened to him, without even glancing at your phone or any kind of screen?

It can be hard to do this with your spouse or family members, let alone a stranger. That’s a tragedy.

Why? As we discussed earlier, hospitality affirms another person in his or her personhood: his very self. It looks at the other person and says, “You are worthy of my time, attention, and care. Come, enter into my home and my life, and refresh your body and spirit.”

That’s a powerful statement. It makes people feel truly loved and valued. Think what a difference it could make in someone’s life. Your child. Your mother or father. Your next-door neighbor.

Think what life would be without welcoming, affirming, loving interactions. It’s not hard to see why there are so many broken, hurting people in the world.

Entertaining Angels

You can make a difference by being present with people. When your child runs up to you wanting to show you something he found, put your phone away and listen to him.

When you pass by someone on the street or in the grocery store, look him in the eye and smile. When you are serving a house full of people, a cheerful face and attentive care are more important than making sure the meal is perfect and the house spotless.

(That’s not to say there’s no value in cooking or cleanliness! These things are good, but they should spring from love, and not be pursued for their own sakes. That is the meaning of the words, “Only one thing is necessary.”)

The transforming power of hospitality

Hospitality requires us to think about what’s really most important, and make sure our lives reflect that. It challenges us to open our hearts to others around us, whether they are in our families or somewhere outside our doors. It shifts our focus outside of ourselves to another person so much that we overlook both our strengths and our imperfections: in a word, it makes us humble.

Sometimes it’s the guest that changes us. We might initially be focused on making sure a dinner party is going according to plan, but then somehow find ourselves drawn into the conversation and the camaraderie, and forget all the little external things in the joy of fellowship. Then our priorities are reordered, and we can begin again with love at the center.

Perhaps you might be a guest in someone else’s home, and feel the warmth of hospitality as the hostess bustles you into into the house and sees to it that you’re warmed and dried and fed, all while she is caring for her own flock. You feel the motherly care and concern she shows for you and her own family. This love shines brighter than elegant furnishings or a gourmet meal ever could.

Hospitality and Humility

Humility is simply recognizing your place in the world, and in the light of eternity. It is standing with our feet firmly planted on the ground, aware of our weaknesses and faults, but looking heavenward in hope, knowing in Whose Image we were created, and for what purpose.

Lastly, humility is standing with your arms open to receive others: as good but flawed human beings, who are worthy of love and respect, and themselves stand in need of our hospitality.

May we let true hospitality transform our hearts so that they are no longer burdened with much serving, but overflowing with loving concern for others.

~Kimberly

P.S. – missed the first part in this series? Read it here. Or learn more about intentional homemaking!