At some point along the journey of homemaking, you realize that the rhythm of life at home moves differently than life in the public sphere. It is quieter, more peaceful, less busy and stressed. A slower pace means boredom for some, but it can be so much more than that.
To some people, this slower rhythm seems like a problem: if your machine is moving slower than a different one, maybe there’s something wrong with it, and it needs to be fixed.
Others get used to a faster, more exciting pace of life, and find themselves bored easily at home. They want to be where the action is.
If you have recently transitioned to the role of full-time homemaker, you know that the pace of life at home is very different from the rush of the workaday world.
Or perhaps you are passionate about homemaking, while still balancing a job outside the home. In that case, you go back and forth from home to work, adapting to different rhythms and demands.
Should home life be just as busy and exciting as the parts of our life spent in public? Or should we accept and even embrace a slower pace at home?
Is homemaking boring?
To answer this question, let’s think about the purpose of homemaking for a moment. Homemakers create homes for their families. True homes are welcoming, comfortable havens where people can find rest and good cheer.
The essence of home might be described as a place of welcome, refreshment, peace, and safety.
Homes are meant to shelter us from the world, in a manner of speaking. Yes, they can hold parties and entertain friends or family when we choose to open our doors, but our homes are the one special place where we can relax and be our private selves without having to defend our philosophical, religious, or political ideas at every turn.
Homes are where we nourish, preserve, and teach, not fight for our values.
If we look at the question in this light, perhaps it’s natural that our homes move more slowly than the outside world of busy society. After all, the goal of home is very different than the goal of public life.
Homemakers are the Gatekeepers
One thing we must be careful to do as homemakers is to keep our homes separate from the world outside. I don’t mean we should close off our homes to everything and everyone outside of our family; but we should be careful about just how much we let inside.
If we want our homes to be havens, then they can’t be too noisy or rushed.
(This has nothing to do with children. I have small children at home, and I do realize that sometimes life is very noisy!)
What I mean is that home life should move at a more leisurely pace than life in society. If we are always running from one activity to the next, that destroys the peaceful atmosphere of home.
This does not mean your life at home should be boring. Far from it! What it does mean is that you have a responsibility to set the tone in your home.
You, as the homemaker, control the pace of life in your home. Even if you have a house full of kids, your decisions about what comes in and what stays out can make a huge difference in the atmosphere of your home.
Does your home refresh you or bore you?
Let’s put it this way: if your home reflects the world outside like a mirror image, you are likely seeking happiness out there. If your home reflects your own unique family and values, you are likely seeking happiness in home and family.
This is an important question, by the way. As the homemaker, if you aren’t happy in your role, you will have a very hard time creating a happy home for your family.
If you are constantly behind on the housework and struggling to get dinner on the table because of too many activities or commitments outside the home, your family life will start to suffer.
Home might even start to become a place of tension instead of rest: a place where the to-do list awaits as soon as you walk in the door.
But if you take your role as gatekeeper seriously, and give your attention to creating a welcoming home instead of just a pretty house, your home life will flourish.
You will be happier and more satisfied with your life, and your family will find more peace within the walls of their home.
Taking time to do your tasks thoughtfully and build your daily schedule to flow peacefully adds much to the comfort of a home–for everyone, not just you!
What to do when you’re bored at home
Now, some of you have probably been cultivating a slow home life for a while. Maybe you even feel bored, like you’re missing out on everything else that’s going on in the world.
Perhaps you look at a single friend or family member and think, “Wow, her life is so exciting! All I do is stay home.”
Don’t fall into the trap of comparing, friend! We will never be able to see all the joys and pains in the hearts of every person. We have each been given one life to live, and we must live it as best we can.
The path of homemaking may not be glamorous, but it certainly doesn’t have to be boring. Homemaking can be joyful and meaningful. I would rather have that over glamor and drama, wouldn’t you?
So embrace the slow rhythm of life at home, instead of wishing for more excitement. Remember that there is a time and a season for everything, and someday you might look back wistfully to these slow and simple days.
Overcoming boredom with meaningful living
That’s all well and good, you might say, but how do I appreciate slow and simple days right now?
We have grown accustomed to getting whatever we want instantaneously, so any kind of waiting seems irksome to our generation. Perhaps what we need is to refocus on the meaning of the things we do, instead of how fast we can get them done!
Slow living does not mean moving slowly about our tasks, or staring out the window because there’s nothing else to do. It is intentionally removing distractions from our lives in order to appreciate the simple things and make life more meaningful.
Slow living means doing things for a purpose, and doing them thoughtfully. It is realizing that faster is not always better: getting more done can actually be less productive, if the goal is to live a meaningful life.
There are plenty of tools to help you be more productive, whether at home or at work. Technology has gotten so advanced that computers can do all sorts of tasks for us. But at the same time, it has robbed us of the enjoyment of life.
Enjoying life by keeping things simple
I don’t want machines to do all of my housework. I would rather feel the solid wooden broomstick and hear the swish of the broom straws against the kitchen floor.
I would rather light a candle and watch the flame dance while it melts the sweet-smelling wax, instead of living under the constant glare of bright incandescent lights.
The true secret of happiness lies in taking a genuine interest in all the details of daily life.
William Morris
There is a lot of truth in this simple statement. Paying attention to the small details can turn an irksome task into a creative, or at least loving, endeavor.
Utilitarianism has reduced many actions to the standard of productivity. In a world of mere utilitarian production and consumption, there is no room to appreciate the beautiful, the solemn, the heart-wrenching.
By embracing a slower way of life at home, we can infuse more meaning into our days.
Ways to embrace a slow rhythm of life at home
Here are some ways to make your life at home more meaningful, which will help you to overcome boredom and appreciate the slower pace:
1. Structure your days
What makes you feel bored or aimless quicker than a day with no plans?
The solution is to manage your time so that you always have something to look forward to, instead of an endless afternoon stretching out before you with no plans. This will help you to appreciate your time more, and use it wisely.
One simple thing you can do is to set up a housekeeping schedule. Even if you don’t need a schedule to get all the housework done, sometimes just having one or two tasks penciled in for the day is enough to get you motivated!
This is also a solution to the problem of frustration of feeling like you’re not getting anything done during the day. Just by writing out a simple schedule, you can plan time for hobbies or meeting a friend, instead of feeling like you don’t have time for anything fun.
2. Observe tea time
If you will be staying home most of the day, why not set aside some time in the afternoon to take tea?
You can invite a friend over and pop a batch of scones in the oven, or just sit down with a pretty teacup and gaze out the window for ten minutes. It doesn’t have to be an hour.
A short break in the afternoon lends structure to your day and grants a reprieve from whatever task you have been working at.
3. Walk daily
Getting outside every day is important, especially for homemakers. If not for my daily walks, there would be many days wherein I did not set foot outside my door!
Somehow, we always remember that fresh air is good for children, but it’s good for us grown ladies as well! Spending some time outside each day will help to clear your mind and sweeten your temper.
Moderate exercise is also beneficial for calming scattered nerves and helping you sleep better.
Brisk walks have been my remedy for stress and anxiety for years now. They help me breathe deeply and focus on something besides my problems.
4. Start with a morning routine
Slow, cozy mornings are my favorites. But if I’m not careful, time can slip away from me, and I look up to find the morning half gone and the breakfast dishes still not done!
To prevent this (and the accompanying feelings of guilt and desperation), try making a morning routine.
It can be a simple list of the tasks you need to complete by noon on a particular day, or a shorter, more generic schedule for every morning.
If you don’t know what to put down, read Samantha’s article about morning routines for some inspiration!
Just having a little something to get me started on the day’s work is helpful when I’m moving slowly!
Add structure for a purposeful life at home
You may have noticed that all of these ideas involve adding some sort of structure to your daily life. I think this can be a problem area for many homemakers, whether they find themselves with too much or too little to do during the day.
As homemakers, we set our own schedules.
Did you hear that? WE SET OUR OWN SCHEDULES. That means there is no schedule unless we make one!
It’s hard to really embrace the rhythm of life at home if there is no rhythm or pattern to your days. Setting a simple plan, even if it’s not an outright schedule, can help you feel much more settled and purposeful in home life.
I hope these ideas help you to find your rhythm of slow, simple living at home.
If you would like to read more about finding joy and purpose in simple, intentional homemaking, check out my Guide to Intentional Homemaking!
Happy homemaking!
~ Kimberly
Kathryn Mader says
Fabulous article! I hope and pray that you will compile your essays on homemaking into a book. Without a doubt, your advice and detailing practical steps to help women re-establish the lost art of homemaking is essential reading in today’s culture. I feel like you are from another era when homemaking was the norm (and celebrated) and are stepping in and up to help many of us lost or floundering souls today. Thank you, thank you, Kimberly!
kimberly says
You are so kind, Kathryn! I do want to help modern women see the beauty in homemaking, so that they realize it’s still an option!
Sarah @ A Pleasant Education says
What an encouraging and needed-to-hear post. When I got to the part about being a ‘gate-keeper’, I laughed – I was literally writing a post on this a few minutes ago, hoping to post it this week. I am so excited to find you, and am looking forward to following along. I am coming off media because I miss the meaningful relationships I found in old-fashioned blogging. Nice to meet you, Kimberly – from a homemaker in New Zealand.
kimberly says
Hello, Sarah! I am delighted to meet you! I understand your frustration with social media and its intrinsic lack of relationships. Now I shall have to go read your post on gate keeping…
Alexandra says
It’s good to know there are other women out there who take pride in homemaking. I love it myself, though unfortunately I find life not as satisfying anymore. Though reading this article and the one of cleaning like your grandmother has inspired me. Thank you.