Returning to Old Fashioned Homemaking
The first part of this guide focused on describing homemaking as an art, and explaining why it is a good and beautiful vocation. I wanted to do that first, to give you an appreciation for homemaking itself.
Also, I want to banish the notion that homemaking is mere housework on the one hand, or mere decorating and entertaining on the other. The heart of homemaking, as we said, lies in creating a haven for our families, and serving them with love.
Now, I want to talk about some practical applications of homemaking. What are some considerations when we actually put these theories into practice? One that might surprise you is that people start to consider you “old fashioned.”
Where did that come from? Is homemaking necessarily old fashioned?
No, and yes.
Homemakers have all different tastes and decorating styles. Of course you don’t need to stop buying new things, or forget about fashion, or restrict your family to a bland, frugal diet to be a good homemaker. You can be as modern or exotic as you like in those respects.
I’m not saying you should get rid of your jeans and only wear dresses, or stop using electricity and modern plumbing; by no means! I like living in the twenty-first century, for many reasons!
However, the focus of homemaking is on the people you serve; and that, unfortunately, is becoming old fashioned. Technology and progress push our societies farther and farther down the road of utilitarianism and productivity, to the degradation of families and communities.
Mainstream society screams, “Faster, faster! Your life will be better if you have more money, or power, or pleasure!”
The homemaker says, “Slow down, sit awhile and rest. Let me listen to you, attend to your needs, refresh and strengthen you. You are important to me.”
The homemaker knows how to be content with her standard of living, instead of constantly grasping for more. She understands how to say, “Enough,” and close the door against society’s influence when it threatens her family’s peace. She is the gatekeeper who determines what comes into her home, instead of allowing popular culture and social media to decide.
In this sense, the homemaker may be viewed as “old fashioned.” If protecting your family and standing up for what you believe in is old fashioned, then I guess I am. Let me explain what I mean by old fashioned homemaking by presenting its five main attributes.
The Five Attributes of Old Fashioned Homemaking
1. Old fashioned homemaking is family-centered.
It seeks the good of the family, and fights to protect its own. If one member’s commitments and activities interfere with family meals or make life hectic, the family should consider whether these activities are really necessary and good. If they are deemed detrimental to the family, out they go.
This might seem radical today, as it is completely contrary to the “culture of the individual” which is slowly chipping away at families everywhere. Old fashioned homemakers know that preserving their family is immeasurably precious.
Family provides a source of strength, a model of behavior, a school of character, and an unbreakable bond of love between members.
2. Homemakers are gatekeepers.
If homemaking means creating a haven, then the homemaker is the gatekeeper who ensures that the haven stays peaceful, and evil influences are kept out.
I want to note here that I do not mean you should raise children to be oblivious to “what’s out there in the world,” even the evils. But it’s one thing to be aware of evil, and quite another to let it into your house.
If you are seeking to make your home a sanctuary, you will do everything possible to minimize all negative influences in your home.
Maybe that means turning off the TV and getting your news from the radio or the newspaper. Maybe it means setting limits on social media consumption or screen time (even for yourself!).
3. Old fashioned homemaking supports a fully human life.
The homemaker recognizes that there’s more to life than work, food, and sleep. She seeks to enrich the minds and spirits of family members by encouraging positive recreation: outdoor activities, card or board games, good books, and constructive hobbies.
She values art, music, and literature that elevate the minds and souls of her family. She encourages thoughtful conversations among family members, and realizes the importance of letting young folks learn from the stories and experiences of older relatives and friends. She prays with and for her family.
4. Old fashioned homemakers create havens where their families can experience unconditional love.
In a world that values people only if they are useful to society in some material way, homemakers guard the last stronghold of person-based values against total utilitarianism.
In their homes, everyone feels loved and valued, regardless of how “useful” he is. Her spouse and children find rest in the knowledge that they are loved for just being themselves.
They know they don’t need to earn her love by proving themselves in any way; and this knowledge inspires confidence to try new things and put forth their best efforts.
Even friends and visitors experience this love: in this house, they feel welcomed without judgment or condemnation.
5. Old fashioned homemaking fosters contentment.
It looks to relationships, not money or things, for fulfillment in life. Homemaking is adaptable to every different income level or stratum of society; indeed, the amount of money a family lives on is not a homemaker’s main concern.
Her job is to see that the family lives within its means, whatever they may be, and create a happy home with what she is given. This requires creativity for those living on small incomes, to be sure; and homemakers realize that their neighbors might well be able to afford more luxuries with two full-time incomes.
But the homemaker is concerned with the things that will bring true happiness, not merely passing amusement. She knows that a home filled with love and conviviality is worth more than money can buy.